


Einstein's Definition of Insanity

by sunkelles



Category: Young Justice (Cartoon)
Genre: Bluepulse, Gen, I am the great plot recycler, The Team - Freeform, Therapy, bart allen definitely plays pokemon, bluepulse week, cassie carries tim bridal style, ensemble fic, here's the fic for you, i finished this up for bluepulse week but it's definitely an ensemble piece, i hope that you guys still enjoy it, if you ever wondered what failsafe would look like with the s2 crew, just so you know, multiple POVs, pre relationship for bluepulse, that's a thing that happens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-09
Updated: 2016-10-21
Packaged: 2018-08-20 07:06:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,092
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8240549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunkelles/pseuds/sunkelles
Summary: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results," Albert Einstein. or: failsafe with the season 2 crew





	1. failsafe redux

**Author's Note:**

> Set in an au where anyone would think that repeating Failsafe would be a good idea. This exists because i am a terrible plot recycler who wanted to see the s2 crew in failsafe. 
> 
> This story switches POVS pretty abruptly. I didn’t want to all out label them because I think that’s a bit of jarring system, especially for as short at this story is, but I also think that it's important to give you guys pretty immediate information about who in the world is narrating this section. 
> 
> There are significant breaks between POV switches, and the first sentence will have the POV character’s name or moniker in it. Monikers are used in narration for characters that I don’t think that the POV character would be on a first name basis with, while names are used for the POV character and the ones that they are on a first name basis with.
> 
>  
> 
> i think that it's technically the last day of bluepulse week? so enjoy my contribution for free day.

Artemis told all of them that this was a bad idea. But none of them would listen, not Barbara, not Tim, not even M’gann. She’s kind of just letting it happen at this point. The whole Team is gathered, and Barbara’s making her pitch. Artemis kind of hopes that none of the kids will say yes.

 

“I had an idea for a training exercise,” Barbara says, “anyone who’s interested will come in this Saturday.”

“What is it?” Bart asks, mouth full of chips. Blue Beetle glares at him.

“Six years ago, when the Team was first formed they tried a training exercise,” Barbara says, “it was a simulation of an alien invasion. It was to help the team train for failure, and everyone was eventually going to die. Miss Martian had an intense mental reaction to seeing Tigress die.”

“She loves me more than you,” Artemis whispers to Conner. Conner laughs at that.

“She caused the Team to forget that it was an exercise. They thought that it was real the entire time.”

“I’m still sorry about that,” M’gann says. Artemis didn’t have to go through what the rest of them did, and she doesn’t blame M’gann for what happened anyways. But she doesn’t understand why they want to repeat that.

“We want to recreate the original exercise. Miss Martian will create the world, and no telepaths will actually be inside of the simulation. There’s no way that we will have the same problems as last time. This will just be an exercise.”

“Um,” Static asks, “is this mandatory?”

“No, this is completely optional,” Barbara asserts, “no one has to do this. If we we don't have at least six volunteers we’ll scrap the idea. Is anyone interested? Robin and Beast Boy have already agreed.

“I’m down,” Bart says, “I love death and dying. What about you, Blue?”

“You, you want to do this?” Blue asks, eyes widening, “you didn’t get enough alien invasions the first time around?”

“Yeah, sure,” Bart says, “don’t know why I wouldn’t. This time it’s not real.”

“Well,” Blue says cautiously, “alright then. I guess I’m in.” Bart beams.

“This could help my training,” La’gaan says, “I’m in.”

“I am too,” Wonder Girl says. No one else speaks.

“What about you, Guardian?” Batgirl asks.

"Yeah, no. I almost die enough, " Mal says.

"Bee?" Barbara asks.

"I'd love to, Batgirl," Karen says, "but I promised I'd go in and research with Doctor Palmer."

"And then we're seeing a movie," Guardian says, with a big grin.

“Tigress?” Batgirl says.

"Thanks for the offer, Batgirl, but I've had enough fake dying for one lifetime," Artemis says. No matter how foolproof Barbara and M'gann think this exercise will be, Artemis isn't interested.

“Conner?” M’gann asks.

“No, M’gann,” he says, “I’m not really interested in doing that again.” Artemis isn’t surprised that Connor doesn’t want any part of this. He was pretty messed up about it the first time.

"Static?" she asks, "we could really use you."

"I'm sorry Batgirl," he says, "but that just sounds awful to me.”

“Well,” Barbara says, “that makes seven of us. We have enough for a squad. We’ll be able to go through with it.”

  
Afterwards, Artemis, Kaldur and Connor all go to the kitchen, pretending that they have an important meeting so that they have an excuse to hang out. They never just get to hang out anymore. They talk about their lives for a little bit. Kaldur has been trying to settle back into leading the Team, but it’s felt weird after being gone so long, especially after everyone believed he betrayed them.

Conner and M’gann are giving dating another go, and Artemis finally feels a little more stable after Wally’s death. They come to an awkward lull in the conversation, and Artemis decides to address the elephant in the room.

“Um,” Artemis says, “what do you think about Barbara’s simulation?”

"I do not think this is a good idea," Kaldur asserts, "the last time we tried this, everything went wrong."

"Well," Artemis says sarcastically, "you can't say it wasn't a formative experience for the Team." Kaldur glares at her, like the disappointed Team big brother that he always has been.

She grins in embarrassment, and asks, "What do you think, Conner?"

"It's their choice," he says evenly. She expected that answer from him to be honest. Conner will always respect someone's right to choose, even if they're making a decision that he doesn't agree with. She doesn't think that any of the kids who went through that hell the first time want to try it again. Except for M'gann, who has decided the idea is totally peachy for some reason. She loves her, but sometimes Artemis doesn't understand how the other girl's brain works. Maybe it's a Martian thing.

“I suppose it is,” Kaldur says. He doesn’t sound like he thinks it’s a good idea either. Artemis definitely doesn’t, but the days of the week pass and eventually Saturday comes. She doesn’t come in, but she knows that the Team will go on without her. She hopes that everyone will be alright.

 

 

  
Barbara wakes up early that morning, much earlier than she really needs to. She wants to make sure that everything is ready when the other team members show up. This has been her project, and she wants to make sure that nothing goes wrong.

When she gets there, she and M’gann work through a few last minute details. Gar comes out of his room around eight o’clock, not even bothering to change out of clothes that look like pajamas or even brush his hair. She told the squad to wear whatever they wanted for the simulation, but she expected him to at least try a little.

The rest of the squad gets there by eight thirty, and they assemble in the mission room in the Watchtower. Barbara told them they could wear whatever they wanted, but she didn’t really mean this casual. Kid Flash is in a pair of flannel pajama pants and a flash tee shirt. Blue Beetle’s in a dark grey hoodie and a pair of jeans. Tim and Cassie are both in uniform, and Barbara is wearing her running clothes. La’gaan is wearing the same pair of shorts that he always wears.

They must be a funny sight.

“So are we starting this thing?” Kid Flash asks, “because I could still be sleeping right now.” Barbara ignores his comment. 

“Does anyone have any questions?” Barbara asks. No one raises their hand, and no one speaks.

“Alright,” Barbara says, “Aqualad wanted to make an announcement first.” Kaldur walks to his place in front of the kids. He looks stern, but Kaldur always looks stern when he’s in leader mode.

"I do not approve of this," Kaldur says, "but I believe it is time you make your own decisions." Barbara appreciates that Kaldur gave her the go ahead on this even though he didn’t agree with it.

"If everyone wishes to go through with this, I will not stop you," Kaldur says.

“Would anyone like to drop out?” Barbara. asks. The rest of the squad looks around, waiting for someone to speak. No one does.

"Are you ready, M'gann," Barbara asks her.

"Whenever you all are," M'gann says.

“Alright then,” Batgirl says, “everyone lie down and close your eyes. Miss Martian will start the simulation.”

They lie down in a circle, with their backs facing M’gann in the middle.

Barbara closes her eyes.

 

 

 

Cassie opens her eyes. Nothing looks that different. They’re lying in the Watchtower, but instead of civvies they’re all wearing their uniforms. And Miss Martian is nowhere to be seen. Cassie pushes herself to her feet, and watches the rest of the squad do the same.

“Nothing happened,” L’gann says.

“We’re inside the simulation,” Batgirl says, “the League and the team members who didn’t come along have already “died” and we’re all about to “die” too.” Batgirl uses air quotes. Cassie laughs a little.

“Real cheery way to start this,” Tim says. Batgirl ignores him.

“We’re all going to die,” she repeats, “that’s how this mission ends. This is a team building exercise, not a chance for anyone to show off."

"Ah darn," Kid Flash says, snapping his fingers, "there goes my plan." Blue Beetle rolls his eyes.

"This is serious, KF," Batgirl says.

"Is it really?" Kid Flash asks, "none of us will actually die. We've all been through worse." Batgirl looks like she’s about to chide him, but she decides against him. Cassie bets she realized that telling the boy from the Reach Apocalypse that a simulation is "serious business" seems ridiculous and insensitive. Batgirl takes a deep breath, and tries to regain her composure.

"If I die and Robin's still alive, he's in charge," she says.

"Noted," Beast Boy says, sending his friend a grin.

“The apocalypse is in full force,” Batgirl says, “as soon as we leave the Watchtower, it’s open season.”

“It’s the end of the world as we know it,” Kid Flash sings, badly. So badly that Cassie’s pretty sure he’s trying to sound bad. He’s actually walking in the wrong direction. Blue Beetle grabs him by the arm.

“Come on, ese,” Blue says, guiding Kid Flash in the opposite direction, “the end of the world is this way.”

Kid Flash laughs, and sings, “And I feel fine!”

 

 

 

“Kid Flash, Wonder Girl, and Beast Boy, you go check out the surrounding area,” Batgirl says.

“Wait,” Bart says, “what about Blue?” He’s always with Blue, no matter what. He hasn’t gone on a mission without him since he came off mode.

“Blue Beetle is staying at the Watchtower,” Barbara says.

“But we always go together,” he says. He realizes that he sounds whiny, but god, he doesn’t want to go out and fake die without Jaime.

“It’s alright, ese,” Jaime says, “you’ve gotta calm down. We can’t really die, remember?” Bart can always trust Jaime to keep a level head. He smiles a little.

“Alright, but if I do not return,” Bart says with a flourish, “know that you’re a nerd.” Cassie sends him an odd look.

“You’re both so weird,” she says. Bart laughs as they step onto the zeta platform.

 

 

Cassie steps out of the zeta tube in Central Park. New York City is swarming with people, as always, but it’s also swarming with drones that evaporate them. None of the extras in this simulation are real people, but Cassie still feels an intense desire to keep them safe.

“Wow,” Kid Flash says, his eyes as wide as saucers, “Batgirl wasn’t lying when she said it was full force down here.” He stands between two drones, and dashes out of the way as they shoot each other.

“Score!” he shouts. Gar laughs and high fives him. Gar morphs into a gorilla and smashes two of them, and in a fluid motion smashes a few more. Cassie flies up and catches the remaining one and sends it hurtling into the ground.

“Did we get all of them?” Gar asks cautiously.

“Yeah,” he says, “I think that we did.” Gar morphs into a monkey, and climbs the tree.

“What are you doing?” Cassie asks, crossing her arms, “we have to stay focused.” They might have fought off all of the drone for right now, but they will come back.

“I’m just monkeying around,” he says.

“Oh my gods, Gar,” she says. Gar just grins.

“You should take this more seriously,” Cassie says, “you’re gonna get yourself killed.”

“This isn’t real though,” Garfield says, “so it doesn’t really matter.” Cassie can come up with a ton of reasons why it does matter, but she doesn’t get the chance to voice them.

A drone appears, and it takes Cassie a moment to process that. It’s a moment too long. Garfield evaporates into dust, and suddenly everything feels real. Gar is dead, and Diana’s dead and the whole League is dead. The realization hits her like a truck.

Kid Flash appears beside her, a terrified and confused look on his face.

"Did Beast Boy just-"

"Yes," Cassie says, voice caught in her throat, "we have to leave, now." Kid Flash doesn't have to be told twice, and he sprints to the zeta.

 

 

 

  
Bart and Cassie both beam up to the Watchtower.

"What happened, Cass?" Tim asks, and Cassie looks like she's going to collapse.

"We lost Gar," she says. She sounds crushed, like it was somehow her fault that he died. She’s crying, and Tim wraps her up in a hug.

“It’s not your fault, Cass,” he says. Bart’s not so great at the comfort thing. The thing that he excels at is the panic thing, and he goes right to his strong suit.

"We're all going to die," Bart says numbly, “they’re gonna kill all of us.” Jaime wraps an arm around his shoulder.

“We'll be alright,” Jaime tells him.

"Alright?" Bart asks, voice rising, "Beast Boy's dead, Blue. The whole _League_ 's dead-"

"Bart," Jaime says, concern thick in his voice, "you've got to calm down." Bart feels like he's suffocating. They're all gonna fucking die, or the aliens will take over and it'll be his childhood all over again. He doesn't even know which possibility is worse.

"I can't go back and save us this time," he whispers. Jaime squeezes his shoulder, and he would find it comforting if he didn’t feel like all the air had been sucked out of the room.

"We need to keep level heads," Jaime says, "we're no good to anyone if we lose it."

Bart says, mind running as fast as his legs can, "We might make it if we leave now, right now. I could run us to the nearest zeta, you could get us off world." He realizes that he's babbling, and Jaime looks disapproving.

"We can't just run, ese," Jaime says.

"We have to survive," Bart says.

"And we will," Jaime says, and suddenly his hand is in Bart's, "we just have to fight." Bart squeezes for a moment, taking strength from the touch, before he realizes they're holding hands. Friends don't hold hands, even best friends. At least, the ones who are both boys don’t. Bart blushes as he lets go.

"Sorry her-man-oh," he says, "got a little freaked out there."

"Uh yeah," Jaime says, refusing to meet his eyes, "no problema, ese."

"Are you two done?" Tim asks, raising an eyebrow.

"Uh, yeah," Jaime says, "we are." 

“What are we gonna do?” Cassie asks.

“I don’t know,” Tim admits, “I think- I think Batgirl had a plan.” He sounds unsure, like he doesn’t remember. Honestly, Bart doesn’t remember either. The details before Beast Boy’s death are foggy, but he knows that everything has gone to shit.

“Guys,” Jaime says, an excited look on his face, “my- my scarab is saying that none of this is real.”

“Really?” Bart asks, a bit of hope building in his breast. He doesn't know how that would be, but he can't help hoping that it's true. 

“Oh yeah,” Tim says, “like we should trust your _scarab_.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Jaime asks, sending him a confused and insulted look.

“Everyone is dead,” Tim says, “and you’re just peachy, alien boy. And now your bug’s saying that no one’s actually dead. How do we know we can trust you?”

“Blue didn’t betray us,” Bart says coldly, “the Reach made him.”

“Yeah, they were _able_ to make him, because of that bug on his back. What makes you think someone else can’t do it?”

“What are you implying?” Bart demands, but he knows exactly what he’s saying. That these aliens could mode Blue too, which is just bullshit. Jaime has  _Reach_ tech on his back, not whatever the fuck sort of tech is invading them right now. 

“I’m just saying he’s suspect,” Tim says, “and so is anything that comes out of his mouth.”

“Shut up,” Batgirl says, “both of you.” Bart runs to her side, overlooking space. He can see what she’s looking at, and it’s not pretty. It’s an enormous spaceship, and it can easily blow the Watchtower out of the sky.

“Fuck,” he says.

“Yeah,” she says, “there’s a- there’s a ship headed right for us.”

“That’s big enough to blow up the Watchtower,” Tim says blankly. It’s getting bigger by the second. If Bart’s guesstimate is right, it can hit them within a minute.

“To the ship,” Batgirl says, “now.” Bart gets to the ship in a few moments, and makes sure that everything is prepared for take off. No one else can move as fast as he can.

 _Now that grandpa’s dead_ , he thinks bitterly, _I’m the fastest man on earth._

 

 

 

Barbara holds the controls, and the moment that all of them are on the ship, she starts forward. Thank god for the density shifting capacity, because if they had to wait for the garage door to open she doesn’t know if they would have made it. As it is, the space station blows up when they are barely out of range.

It reminds her a bit of the scene in the first Star Wars where Luke blows up the Death Star, if it were the entire resistance base that blew up instead.

Tim looks angry, and Kid Flash looks ready to rip his throat open. Blue Beetle just looks out of it.

“You’re not helping,” Blue says, and he sounds genuinely torn up about it. It takes her a moment to realize he must be talking to his scarab.

“Do you think that everywhere has been affected?” La’gaan asks, “Atlantis might still be fine. They might be alright. The aliens might not know it exists.” He sounds hopeful, or maybe desperate.

“I need to go see for sure,” he says.

“We can’t split the group up more, Lagoon Boy,” Barbara says. An eerie silence settles over the Team.

They’ve already lost so many friends, so many teammates. They can’t lose Lagoon Boy as well, not over some fool’s errand.

“We need to make a broadcast,” Barbara says, “like- like what they did when the adults disappeared.”

She knows that Wonder Girl and Lagoon Boy might not remember that, and Bart definitely doesn’t, but Tim and Blue Beetle will.

She speaks about hope while she tries not to think about the time that Dick did this, along with Wally and Kaldur. She tries not to think about how all three of them are dead now.

It doesn’t work all that well.

 

 

The ship veers to the left, and Bart hits his head against the back of the seat.

“We have company,” Tim calls out. Bart turns his aching head and looks out Tim’s window. He sees a whole fucking swarm of drones.

Batgirl swerves, and avoids a few blasts, only to ram into the side of multiple drone. It brings the ship crashing down. Bart’s head hurts even more.

“Is everyone alright?” Batgirl asks. Bart starts laughing. Of course he’s not alright. The world is falling down and he can’t fix it and Jaime won’t even let them run away. Nothing in this picture is alright.

“We’re alive,” La’gaan says. That’s probably as good as any of them are going to get.

“We could stay in here,” Tim says, “it might buy us a little time.”

“We’ll die if we stay here,” Batgirl says, “it won’t take the drones too long to blast through the bioship. Then we’ll be next.”

“What do we do?” Cassie asks.

“We leave,” Batgirl says, and Bart can hear how forced her calm is, “and try to find a safer space. We’ll come up with a plan later.” They stand on the platform as the hatch detracts. The sky is dotted with drones.  
“Mierda,” Jaime says, sounding absolutely defeated. This is bad. Apocalyptic kind of bad, like after this is over, there won’t even be people alive on the planet kind of bad.

“Run,” Batgirl orders. Bart knows that he could run. He could run as fast as possible for as long as possible, and get away from the rest of them. He’d be alright. He’s a fucking speedster. But he needs Blue first.

Bart watches as Batgirl, Cassie, Tim and La’gaan all rush past. Jaime flies up, towards the maelstrom of robots. He looks like a vengeful angel sent from heaven, plasma cannon directed towards the drones.

He spots Bart out of the corner of his eye. He looks shocked that Bart hasn’t bolted, as if Bart ever would without him.

“Go,” Jaime says, “i’ll hold them off.” He sees Batgirl jerk her head around.

“Come on, Kid Flash,” she yells.

“We can’t leave Blue,” Bart shouts. Cassie flies back towards them, and slams down a few drones.

“Come on,” she says, “both of you.”

“I’m working on it,” Jaime calls back. Nervous laughter bubbles at Bart’s lips.

Jaime shoots one last bolt of plasma in a beautiful, desperate motion. Then, he’s hit. Jaime Reyes disappears, and Bart feels like he's been shocked. He rushes forward, faster than light, but he's too late to save him. Even if he weren’t, Jaime was too high in the air for him to grab.

"Oh god," he says, "I was- I was too late." What good is running at the speed of light if he can't save the people he loves? He couldn't save Wally all those months ago, and he couldn't save his family, and he couldn't even save Jaime now. God, what good is he if he can’t save _Jaime_. He feels like his heart has been ripped out of his chest.

"Kid," Cassie says, swooping in beside him, "we have to leave."

"Jaime's dead," he says, and it hurts more than anything.

"Kid," Cassie says, "please, we can't lose you too-"

“He’s dead,” he says again, numbly. It feels like nothing matters anymore. He came back to save himself, and the world, but somehow Jaime Reyes ended mattering the most.

The drone that got Jaime turns red, ready to strike him down. Bart doesn’t move. Cassie flies forward, and spikes it into the ground like a volleyball. It smashes into a million pieces, and Bart is spared Jaime’s fate

Cassie grabs him by the waist, and hoists him over her shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Bart watches the spot where Jaime disappeared until he can’t see it anymore. Then he closes his eyes, and tries to pretend this is a dream like the scarab was trying to say that it was.

Wouldn’t that be nice? Cassie sets Bart down gently when they finally come to a spot where they can stop.

 

 

 

The sand on the beach feels soft and familiar under Lagaan’s feet. The ocean looks calm, almost peaceful compared to the chaos around them. The chaos that has obviously consumed the whole world. La’gaan is tired of this, all of it. He just wants to go home.

“I’m leaving,” La’gaan says, looking to the ocean.

“What?” Wonder Girl demands, “L’gann, you can’t just leave. We just- we just lost Blue. We can’t lose you too.” Robin comes up beside her, and takes her hand.

“Come on,” he says gently, “Atlantis is probably just like this. You’ll be safer up here.” Kid Flash laughs at that, a bitter sound.

“Sure,” he says, “safe.”

“It might not be though,” La’gaan says, “I have to know.” They’ll probably all die before morning if he stays here, but there’s a possibility that Atlantis still stands. This is a chance he wants to take.

“We can’t keep you here,” Batgirl tells him, “are you sure about this?”

“Positive,” he says, “I”m leaving.”

“Well then,” she says, sounding disappointed but not surprised, “stay safe.” La’gaan knows that’s the closest to a blessing he’s going to get from any of them.

“I will,” he promises. He steps into the ocean, and feels at home.

 

 

Cassie is trying to calm the fuck down. It’s not working.

“What do we do?” Cassie asks.

“We die,” Bart says.

“I appreciate the confidence,” Tim says. 

“What does it even matter anymore?” Bart asks.

“We have to keep fighting, Bart,” Batgirl says, “I’d think you’d know that. You came from a world like this, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” he says bitterly, “and I came back to make it better. Now everything’s gone to shit.”

“We could go to the Cave,” Tim suggests.

“No outsiders in the Cave,” Batgirl says automatically. Tim actually laughs, but it's not a funny kind of laugh. It's the bitter kind that gets stuck in his throat. 

“Since Bats is dead, I’m sure we can bend the rules a little,” he says.

“We need to do something,” Cassie agrees.

“Cassie,” Tim says, “turn around.” She turns her head, and sees a flock of drones flying up behind them.

“Hades,” she mutters. She surges forward, and slams down two of the drones before they even turn red. There are six left, and Cassie thinks that she can take them all out. At least she can buy the others a little time.

Tim and Batgirl have drawn their weapons, but Cassie knows they don’t have a chance against them. If they stay they’ll die.

“Run,” she says, “I’ll hold them off.”

“We’re not leaving you,” Tim says, hurling a batarang at a drone. It hits it, but it bounces right off. She punches another in the air, and it shatters.

“Go,” she shouts. He and Batgirl send her one last, cautious look and then they run. Kid Flash doesn’t move.

“Run KF!” Cassie shouts. Why isn’t he running? He’s a speedster. Out of any of them, he should be the one that has the easiest time escaping. She slams down another drone, but the one furthest away from her turns red. She surges forward, and tries to get to the drone before it can hit him.

“What does it fucking matter?” he shouts as the beam shoots towards him. Another Kid Flash disappears, and Cassie sends the drone hurtling towards the ground with a curse.

 

 

  
L’gann swims for hours. Atlantis is miles away, and he can only swim so fast. By the time that he gets there his entire body aches.

He spots the outline of Atlantis, a few of the tallest towers stand out in the distance. He swims faster, excitement building within him. He’s almost home. 

When he reaches the outer gates, he realizes that he made a mistake. There’s no one here, no one at all. The entire city is deserted. He knows that’s not accurate. The entire city is dead.  And the worst part is that It hurts so much worse than the carnage on the surface world did.

L’gann turns around, and sees a drone, red light and all. He does not feel anything as his vision goes red.

 

 

 

Cassie annihilates the rest of the drones, and tries to catch up with Tim and Batgirl.

“Cassie,” Tim calls out, and his face lights up immediately. Batgirl looks excited to see her, but her face drops when she realizes Cassie’s alone.

“Where’s Kid Flash?” Batgirl asks cautiously.

“He didn’t make it,” Cassie says. She doesn’t give them any more details, and she doesn’t think that they’d want them. She wishes her last memory of Kid Flash wasn’t of him standing still in the face of death. Drones fly down out of the sky.

“How many of these are there?” Tim asks. He and Batgirl both draw their batarangs, even though they know that it’s futile. Cassie surges forward, and tries to slam down drones. She’s destroyed so many, but they just keep coming. She doesn’t think that they will ever stop.

Batgirl hurls a batarang, and it hits the drone. It bounces off, and the thing turns red. Batgirl disappears.

“Shit,” Tim says, and he looks frozen. Batgirl was like a big sister to him, and now she’s gone along with the rest of them. The drone beside her turns red, facing him, and Cassie surges forward. She scoops Tim up into her arms and flies away as fast as she can. The blast barely misses them.

“Oh god, Cass,” he says, “they’re dead, all of them.” He sounds so broken, so regretful. He sounds like whatever was holding him together before snapped when Batgirl died.

“I’ve got you,” she promises. She wants to hug him so tightly it will hurt, but instead she holds him like he’s made of glass. She’s afraid that she could break him, or if she touches him too hard he’ll disappear with the rest of them.

They’ve flown far enough from the drones that she can’t see any, and she decides to land. She can’t keep flying forever, and flying with Tim in her arms is tiring. It uses twice the amount of energy.

She lands, and sets him down. He doesn’t look too excited to be on solid ground again.

“What do we do?” she asks. Tim’s a leader. Batgirl was a leader, Nightwing and Kaldur were leaders, but not her. She’s a warrior, a soldier. She takes orders and executes them. She doesn’t give them.

“I don’t know,” he says softly. Oh gods, that’s an awful sign. Tim _always_ has a plan.

“Everyone’s gone,” he says, “we can’t do this alone.”

“You and Batgirl,” she says, and he flinches at the mention of their dead friend, “you mentioned going back to the Batcave. Do you think it would be safer there?”

“Maybe,” Tim says, “if anyone else is still alive, we could get in touch with them there.” She scoops him up again. Last time, it worked to get away from the drones. Maybe they can escape again, get to the Batcave. Maybe they can figure out a plan to stop this, and save all the people who are still alive.

She flies away from the hoard of drones, only to fly into another one, she turns around, and realizes that they’re surrounding her.

“Oh god,” Tim says. Cassie’s eyes widen, and a bolt of red energy comes hurtling towards her. It hits Tim’s midsection. He evaporates right out of her arms, and she feels his weight disappear. She clutches the air where he used to be, and can feel angry tears rolling down her cheeks.

Tim was the last one left, and now he’s dead. Cassie is the last person standing. The entire League and the entire Team are gone, and Cassie knows that she’s next. She knows that she’s going down, but she won’t go down without a fight.

“Come and get me,” Cassie challenges. If she were facing anything sentient, they might have laughed. But the drones don’t. They merely gear up to shoot, and Cassie takes down four before she can even blink. She downs another seven before she feels herself fade away.

 

 

Cassie feels the cold, hard ground underneath her. How is she still alive? Did they just they just knock her to the ground? She opens her eyes and bears her fists, ready to fight another round. She’s in the Watchtower? She’s sitting beside La’gaan, and Tim is on the other side of her. Garfield’s wrapped around M’gann like a leech. They’re all alive?

“Tim?” she asks, “what is this?” All of these people are dead, including her. Is she in Elysium? Her head hurts. She remembers dying. She remembers _all_ of them dying. 

“It was a simulation, Cass,” Tim says softly, “we just- we all forgot it wasn’t real” Oh, she remembers now. As soon as Gar died, everything felt real but she couldn’t place exactly what happened. She thought that was weird, but she didn’t think about it much. Blue Beetle even realized what had happened.

La’gaan has his head in his hands. Batgirl looks shaken, like her entire world has come crashing down.

Kid Flash has a smile pasted on his face, and he’s got his arm wrapped around Blue Beetle’s shoulder like nothing even happened, like Cassie didn’t watch him let the drones kill him a little while ago.

“We fucked up,” Cassie says. She shouldn't have agreed to this. She remembers hearing the older team members talk about this, about how awful it was. She should have listened when they talked about the risks. 

“No,” M’gann says, sending Batgirl a regretful look, “I did. My mind freaked out when I saw Garfield die. I just- I couldn't take it.”

“It’s my fault too,” Batgirl says, “it was my awful idea.”

“It does not matter whose fault it is,” Kaldur says, and he looks regretful, a little frustrated, “it still happened. Now it is over.” Cassie understands what Kaldur means, that nothing can be changed. But she knows that this isn’t over. It’s not even close.


	2. the therapy part

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a little messed up but we're all alright (or at least approaching that point)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1\. this part is somehow LONGER than the one where everyone dies. why did i do this to myself. why did i decide to try to write a character study for 8 characters? it was a lot of work y'all had better comment istg
> 
> 2\. there's a scene where barbara and black canary are together and i think that's cool because i know OF birds of prey even if i'm not familiar with it.
> 
> 3\. the pov rule is basically the same as in the first chapter
> 
> 4\. i don't know what cassie's backstory is supposed to be (because the show never gave us any info), but in this fic she's from themyscira. '
> 
> 5\. i honestly i feel like i pulled most of my characterization of cassie, tim and barbara out of my ass because we didn't get much of them? i hope that it still works for everyone
> 
> and with that, i hope that you guys enjoy the rest of the great recycled plot :)

The Team members who went on the mission are sitting in little, colored plastic chairs outside the room where Black Canary is waiting to help them through their trauma. Kaldur hasn’t mentioned that to the kids yet, though. M’gann’s not going to bring it up first.

 

“Um,” Kid Flash asks, “why are we still here? Is this some sort of team bonding exercise or something? Like, I get that’s important and stuff, but I want to go home.” Cassie sends him a dirty look, and the rest of the kids try to ignore him, except Blue Beetle. Blue Beetle elbows him, and tells him something soft enough that M’gann can’t hear. She can bet that he’s scolding him though.

“Everyone will be speaking to Black Canary,” Kaldur says evenly. Artemis grimaces from her spot across the room.

“Oh gosh,” she says, “enjoy the therapy, kids.”

“Wait,” Kid Flash says, sounding baffled, “therapy?”

“Yes, Kid Flash,” Kaldur says.

“Then I can definitely go home,” Kid Flash says, “no more trauma than normal, right? I don’t need therapy.”

“This is not optional, Kid Flash,” Kaldur says.

“What do you mean?”

“You will all be attending this session with Black Canary,” Kaldur says, “or you will not be going back into the field. This applies to _all_ of you.” Blue Beetle bites his lip. La’gaan glares. Cassie looks away uncomfortably.  Garfield shifts awkwardly in his seat beside her. Only Barbara and Tim seem unfazed by this, but that’s probably just their good old bat family stoicism. It’s obvious that none of them want to be here, but it’s necessary. Therapy helped last time, no matter how little most of the kids wanted to admit it.

 

“I’ll go first,” M’gann says. The least she can do is give the younger kids the opportunity to put it off. She already put them all through hell. M’gann walks into the room, and finds that Dinah is already sitting in a blue arm chair.

“Hello M’gann,” Dinah says, M’gann sits down in the red one right across from her.

“It feels like we’ve done this before,” Dinah says, a little bit teasing.

"Yeah,” M’gann says seriously, “it was all my fault that time too.”

“It wasn’t your fault back then, M’gann,” Dinah tells her, “that’s all on the League.”

“But it was my fault this time,” M’gann says. Dinah sighs.

"I think it was... foolish of you and Batgirl to organize this, and I don’t think that Aqualad should have allowed it," Dinah says, "but it wasn't your fault that it went as wrong as it did. No one could have predicted this.”

“Really,” M’gann asks, a little sarcastically, “we couldn’t have predicted that the same thing would go wrong?”

“You changed the circumstances,” Dinah says, “and you thought that it would fix things. What went wrong?”

“Garfield died,” M’gann says, “and I just- I couldn’t take it. My subconscious took over, like with Artemis. I don’t- I don’t know if it would have happened for any of the others.” She feels guilty about that. The first time around, she knows that any of them dying would have set her off, but other than Garfield, she isn’t incredibly close to anyone on the mission. After their breakup, she and La’gaan haven’t been on good terms, and Barbara was the only other squad member that she even really knows.

“M’gann,” she says, “you don’t know what would have happened if it were any of the other kids, and you can’t dwell on it.”

“I know,” she says, “I just- I feel so guilty.”

“Of course you do,” Dinah tells her, “that’s probably not going to change for a while.”

“Of course,” M’gann says. She bites her lip. She just doesn’t know what to do. No matter what she says or does, she isn’t going to undo this. All those kids already lived through one alien invasion. Now they have intense memories of a fake one too.

“No one blames you,” Dinah tells her. They might not, but they _should_. M’gann realizes that telling Dinah this won’t really help anything though. They’ve been talking in circles this whole time.

“Thanks, Dinah,” M’gann says, trying to look like this has helped her, “we have _got_ to stop meeting like this.” Dinah cracks a grin at that. M’gann gets up and leaves, and she sits down in the chair beside Garfield.

He shifts into a little green kitten and curls up in her lap, and M’gann feels a little bit more at ease, even though she can still remember him vanishing before her eyes.

  


“Who’s next?” Dinah asks. Barbara looks around the room, and everyone is trying to look away. None of them want to go.

“I’ll go,” she says reluctantly. This was her idea, if the other kids want to put this off, she should make it a little easier for them. Barbara follows Dinah into the room. Dinah sits down in a blue armchair, and gestures for Barbara to sit in the red one.

“Barbara,” Dinah says evenly.

“Dinah,” she says, a little less evenly.

“What do you want to talk about?” Dinah asks. Dinah is letting her set the pace of this, which Barbara appreciates. It feels like therapy, or at least what she thinks therapy must be like. She was a little worried it would turn into an interrogation.

"This was all my idea," Barbara says. She’s sure that Dinah knows already. She nods, waiting for Barbara to continue.  
  
"It was my mission," she says, "if I hadn't pushed for it, M'gann never would have agreed." Everything the Team went through was _her_ fault.  
  
"It wasn't your fault, Barbara," Dinah tells her, like she read her mind. But Barbara suspects that it wasn’t hard to guess what she was thinking.  
  
"It was," Barbara assures her, "I set up this whole thing, and then I died, and I left Tim and Cassie to fend for themselves."  
  
"A lot of people made mistakes," Dinah says, "yours was just one of them."

“Kaldur wants me to take over when he joins the League,” Barbara says, “how can I lead the whole Team if I fu- mess up a _training_ simulation?”

“You didn’t mess up by yourself,” Dinah says, “

“A lot of people made mistakes, Barbara,” Dinah says, “you can’t blame yourself for it. You just have to learn from it.”

“What am I supposed to learn from it?” Barbara says, “to not repeat other people’s mistakes?” She feels like that should have been a given. God, how could she have been so _stupid._

“Maybe,” Dinah says, “or maybe you just need to be a little more cautious, think things over a little more before you go at them head first. Maybe ask for more input before you do things.” She was just so eager to try this that she didn’t think about the possible consequences. Barbara lets out a frustrated huff of air. She just wants this all to  _stop._

“Nothing’s going to undo this,” Dinah says, “even your guilt.”  
  
“I know,” Barbara says, but that doesn’t make her feel any less guilty.

“You’re a good leader, Barbara,” Dinah says, “you’ve done some fantastic things with the Team, you can’t let one mistake hold you back. You just need to be a little more cautious.”

“Thanks,” Barbara says, and she does feel better, at least a little. She leaves the room, and then he sits down awkwardly beside Tim. She takes out her phone, and starts researching training and team building exercises. She wants to make this Team better, she just needs to figure out how to go about that.

 

La’gaan refuses to look up as he hears the door open.

“Who’s next?” Dinah asks. The Team greets her with dead silence as they all avoid making eye contact, but with her and each other.

“Do I have any volunteers?” Dinah asks. Everyone is determined not to give in, and Lag’aan’s definitely not going to break the streak.

“Eenie, meenie, miney. Lagoon Boy,” she says. La’gaan looks up frantically, and sees that she is pointing at him.

“Come _on,”_ he says. He can’t look that much more cooperative than the others.

“The sooner you do it,” Dinah says, “the sooner you get it done.”

“Fine,” he says, and he follows her into the room. He sits down in the red chair right beside the door, and Dinah sits down in a blue one right across from him.

“You split off from the group to check on Atlantis,” Dinah says. La’gaan nods. He doesn’t really want to talk about this, but he realizes that he has to.

“Yes,” he says. She looks at him, waiting for him to continue. He doesn’t.

“Why is that?” she asks. He doesn’t respond. He doesn’t want to talk to her about whatever he’s feeling. He doesn’t want to talk about it at all.

“La’gaan,” she says, “talk to me. You split off from the group, and you put yourself in danger on the off chance that Atlantis wasn’t affected.”  
  
“I just wanted to go home,” he says. Maybe she’ll leave it at that.

“Do you not feel at home here?” she asks cautiously, like he’s some sort of wounded animal.

“I don’t know,” he says, but he _does._ He doesn’t feel like he’s supposed to be here.

“La’gaan,” she says.

“No, I don’t feel like I belong here anymore,” La’gaan says softly.

"Like a fish out of water?" Dinah suggests. L'gann glares. He’s actually opening up and she pulls _that._ He’s so tired of fish jokes and water stereotypes and stupid questions about mermaids and the Loch Ness Monster. He’s tired of ignorant surface folk not giving a shit about Atlantis.

"I'm sorry," Dinah says, "that was in poor taste."

"You think?" L'gann growls. He crosses his arms over his chest. This is so stupid. He knows that he’s a little messed up about what happened, but he doesn’t want to talk to _Black Canary_ about it, especially not after that.

“You feel out of place though,” Dinah says. La’gaan nods.

“Do you know why?” she asks gently.

“I have friends here,” he says, “I just don’t feel as at home as I do there. Ever since M’gann and I broke up it just hasn’t _felt_ right.” So many of his relationships on the Team hinged on dating M’gann. Beast Boy won’t even talk to him anymore, and he can’t talk to M’gann. It wasn’t like he was ever on good terms with Superboy, but it’s gotten even worse since he and M’gann got back together. La’gaan can barely stand to look at the guy.

He just feels so cut off from everything that matters when he's here, his friends, his family, everything that makes him feel like an Atlantian. Here he’s just the weird fish guy that M’gann used to date.

“You’re a valued member of the Team, La’gaan,” she says. La’gaan actually laughs at that.

“I’m just the water guy,” La’gaan says, “Kaldur’s a lot better at it than I am anyways.” Kaldur might still speech stilted English, but he still fits in better than La’gaan does.

“Kaldur’s not out in the field, La’gaan,” she says, “and he doesn’t have the same abilities as you.”

“He said that he trusted me to take his place,” La’gaan says, “but now that he’s back I just feel kinda feel unneeded, you know?”

“You aren’t just a copy of Kaldur, La’gaan,” Dinah says.

“I just- sometimes I feel like I shouldn’t be here,” he says. Sure he felt awful as he watched the surface world go to hell, but he felt a million times worse when he saw _Atlantis_ in ruins.

“You can leave, if you want,” Dinah says, “but you should think it over. Talk to your teammates, especially Kaldur.” La’gaan isn’t sure if he wants to leave. He never really thought about it before this, but now he can’t _stop_. He needs to think this over.

“Alright,” La’gaan says cautiously. He gets up and walks out the door. He looks back at his sad, empty, blue plastic chair. He doesn’t want to sit down again.  

“Wait,” he asks, “can I leave?”

“Yes,” Dinah says, “none of you have to stay afterwards.” Batgirl shoots up from her chair.

“I”m just gonna go then,” she says, and then Batgirl heads out the door. 

 

Garfield curls a little further into M’gann and hopes that Dinah doesn’t notice him on her lap.

“Beast Boy, you’re next,” Dinah says, “let’s get all these green boys done.”

“Wait,” Garfield says, “no.” He doesn’t want to get off M’gann’s lap.

“It’s your turn, Beast Boy,” she says. Dinah sounds like she doesn’t want to ask again. It sounds like if she asks again, she might not be so nice about it.

“Fine,” he says, and the words turn into a purr as he hops of M’gann’s lap and shifts back into a human.

“Let’s get this over with,” he says as he walks into the room. Dinah laughs.

“You sound enthusiastic,” she says. Garfield sits down in the red armchair, and curls his tail around the back. He doesn’t say anything.

“So,” Dinah says, “how are you?”

“Um,” Garfield says, “not great?” What kind of question is that. He just _died._ It’s his fault they all thought it was real. Is he supposed to say he’s hunky-dory? He knows that he’s better off than the rest of the kids, but that doesn’t mean that he’s fine.

“What do you want to talk about?” she asks instead. There’s a lot that he wants to talk about it. It’s almost hard to decide what to start with to be honest.

“Well, um,” he says, “I feel like it was my fault.”  
  
“Why?” Dinah asks, sounding genuinely confused, “none of it was your idea.”

"I shouldn't have come," he says, "me dying, that's what set M'gann off. I should have known." M’gann has been like a big sister to him for five years. He should have known how him dying would affect her.

“Garfield,” she says, “you couldn’t have known.” She sounds a little exasperated, like she’s already said that too many times today. She probably has.

“I could have guessed, though,” he says.

“You can’t blame yourself for this,” Dinah says.

“Noted,” he says. He knows that Dinah must have told these same things to M’gann and Batgirl, and he knows that the words wouldn’t have made either of them feel any better. They aren’t going to help him either.

Dinah sighs, and asks, “You aren’t going to say anything else, are you?” Garfield shifts into a mouse, and Dinah rolls her eyes.

“Fine,” she says, “this session is over.” He morphs back into his human form, because he can move faster that way, and also he needs opposable thumbs to open the door.

 

Jaime looks up from his phone, and sees Beast Boy come in, followed by Dinah. He expects Dinah to call him, because he’s looking up, but she doesn’t. She looks right beside him at Bart.

“Kid Flash,” Dinah says, “you’re up.”

“Uh, no,” Bart says, finally looking up from his game, “I’m not going. Not a chance." Bart looks back down at his game, and shoots someone else’s pokemon with a burst of lightning.

“I’ll go,” Jaime says. Jaime can tell how much Bart doesn’t want to talk about it, whatever it was that happened after he died, and he’s willing to buy him a little bit of time.

“Alright,” Dinah says, and then she meets Bart’s eyes, “you’re off the hook. For now.” Jaime follows Dinah into the room. He sits down in the blue chair at the end of the room. Dinah laughs a little at that.

“What is it?” he asks. Is he sitting weird? Is there something on his nose or something? 

“Everyone else chose the one close to the door,” she says, “I guess you’re just a fan of blue.”

“Um,” he says, “you can have it back, if you want.”

“No,” she says, “keep it. It suits you.” She sits down in the red chair across from him, and Jaime looks over her head. There’s an analogue clock above her. He’s never been any good at reading those, but Khaji Da tells him the time before he gives it any thought anyways. Dinah doesn’t say anything, and Dinah keeps not saying anything.

The silence is getting to be awkward, but Jaime doesn’t know what he’s supposed to say. He doesn’t even know if he’s _supposed_ to talk first. He considers asking, but he doesn’t really want to compare therapy to that scene in Star Wars where that pilot guy gets tortured.

“You kept a level head during the simulation,” Dinah finally says. She sounds a little impressed.

“My scarab knew it wasn’t real,” Jaime says. He can’t take all the credit for that. Hell, he can’t take _any_ of the credit for that. He didn’t trust Khaji Da enough to even try to convince the rest of the Team that it wasn't real once they started pushing back.

 

 _You did not listen, Jaime Reyes,_ Khaji Da says. He shifts uncomfortably. Jaime knows that his scarab can’t read his thoughts, but it feels like it sometimes.

 

“But when I tried to tell the rest of them,” Jaime says, voice trailing off.

“That’s when Robin got combative,” Dinah says.

“Yeah,” Jaime says. He’s not really sure what else he _could_ say. It happened, and it was awful and he doesn’t really want to talk about it.

“You didn’t deserve that,” Dinah says, “you aren’t suspect, Jaime.” He bites his lip, and considers whether or not he should speak. He doesn’t know if he should mention this next part. He decides that he needs to.

“I um,” Jaime says, “I kind of am, ese.” The last time that he spoke to Black Canary, he omitted important information. He doesn’t want to do that again. He’d feel too guilty.

 

 _You have put us in danger, Jaime Reyes,_ Khaji Da says, _suggested course of action is retreat._

 

“What do you mean?” Dinah asks cautiously.

 

 _Do not answer, Jaime Reyes,_ Khaji Da says.

 

“She’s not gonna hurt us,” Jaime tells the jumpy bug on his back.

 

 _Negative,_ Khaji Da says, _the Black Canary appears confused, possibly threatened. Attack while you have the upper hand._

 

“Shut up,” Jaime growls.

“Are you talking to the scarab?” Dinah asks, sounding confused.

“Sí,” he says, “sorry, he’s kinda jumpy.”

“Jaime,” she says, “what did you mean earlier?”

“Robin wasn’t totally out of line,” he says, and he can feel his heart racing, “if that were real, they could have moded me.”

"What do you mean, they could have?" Dinah asks cautiously, "didn't Zatanna fix you?"

"Zatanna fixed me," he agrees, "but she- she did what they did the first time. It's not permanent. Someone could mode me again." He’s tried not to think about this for months, but he’s had nightmares. And now that Robin shoved it in his face, he doesn’t think he can ignore it anymore.

"I don't mean to belittle your fears, Jaime," she says, "but the scarab is a complicated being. I doubt if anyone else could figure out how to mode you." He flinches back, and Canary notices.

"What is it, Jaime?" she asks cautiously.  

"The Light knows how," he says. He looks away. He doesn’t really want to see her reaction to that.

 

 _You have endangered us, Jaime Reyes_ Khaji Da says.

 

"Why haven't you mentioned this before?" She asks.

"There's nothing anyone can do," he says, "it would just worry everyone.” Maybe he was scarred, but honestly, it didn’t seem like something anyone could fix. He’s only talking about it now because he feels guilty. He has no idea if this will actually improve the situation.

“Jaime,” Dinah says, “I’m not angry at you for not telling us before, but why? Why didn’t you mention it until now?”

“Can you imagine what knowing that would do to Bart?" Jaime says. He doesn’t even want to think about what knowing that someone could mode him again would do to his best friend. Bart has been so relaxed around him lately, and he doesn’t want to go back to the period in time where Bart thought he could turn on him at any moment.

"You're most worried about what Bart will think," Dinah observes. Jaime’s not going to deny that. A lot of his feelings have revolved around Bart lately. He’s not sure what to make of it.

"Nobody on the Team cared about me before Bart came," he says, "and now I have other friends but- it's not the same." He's never felt the same way about anyone as the way he feels about Bart. It sounds cheesy as hell, but he just wants Bart to like him. He doesn’t want to go back to the days after they were abducted, where Bart was constantly looking over his shoulder, trying to figure out if Jaime was his friend or the monster who was going to take over the earth.

 

Dinah looks at him expectantly.

 

"I just- I don't want him to be afraid of me, you know?" He says, "I don't want him to look at me and see the Big Bad Blue Beetle." He sort of sinks down in his seat. He wants Bart to think that he’s cool and nice and awesome and nothing like the Blue Beetle from his timeline.

“What the Reach did with your body wasn’t your fault, Jaime,” Dinah tells him.

“People keep telling me that,” he says. He doesn’t believe them, but they keep trying to make him feel better. He appreciates it. Jaime sighs, and tries to readjust his position in his chair. He feels uncomfortable, both physically and mentally. He feels exposed. He kind of regrets telling Canary about this.

“We have to tell the rest of the League, Jaime,” Dinah says. Scratch that. He _really_ regrets telling Canary about this.

 

 _Eliminate the Black Canary,_ Khaji Da urges him.

 

“No,” he says, “please don’t.” He’s not sure if he’s talking to Canary or the scarab at this point.

“Someone has to know, Jaime,” she tells him.

“Zatanna knows,” he says, “and I think that Aqualad does, maybe Miss Martian too? I just- I don’t want everyone else to know.” It’s not just Bart, but it’s Robin and Lagoon Boy and the rest of them that were so eager to think he was a traitor. He doesn’t want them to have this information either. Dinah stares him down, and sighs.

“Fine,” she says, “we’ll discuss this later.” Jaime takes that as a good sign.

“Thank you,” he says. He stands up, and walks out of the room. He looks at his seat beside Bart, and remembers that he doesn’t have to stay. Bart looks up from his game at Jaime, and then he smiles.

“Blue, come on,” he says, gesturing to the empty red plastic chair beside him, “I caught like twenty pokemon while you were gone. You gotta come see.”  
  
“Um,” Jaime says, “I was actually gonna go.”

“Wait,” Bart says, “no no no no no, you can’t! You have to see my pokemon, and then we have to chill hang afterward this” Bart sends him a pleading look, and Jaime has to admit that hanging out with Bart definitely beats his “go home and study plan”.

“Fine,” Jaime says. He sits down beside him, and Bart shoves his game in his face

“Look at my pokemon,” he says. He can’t really focus on the screen because Bart’s moving fast enough to make it vibrate, but he can tell that there is something there. The game is on, at least.

“This one’s a beetle and he’s blue and I named him Jaime,” Bart says. He points at it, and holds his hand still enough that Jaime can tell it does look like a blue beetle. He starts laughing. _This?_ This is what he’s afraid of losing.

 

 

 

Cassie shifts in her green plastic chair. The bones in her butt are digging into the chair, and her leg has fallen asleep where she crossed it over. She uncrosses her legs and moves around a little bit, trying to regain feeling in her leg and ease the ache in her bottom.

“Who’s next?” Dinah asks. Kid Flash has shoved his Nintendo DS in Blue Beetle’s face, and looks like he’s actually enjoying himself. The only other options are her and Tim, and Cassie’s definitely not making Tim go.

Cassie sighs, but says, “I’ll go.” She follows Dinah into the room, and sits down in the chair closest to the door. She grabs a bit of hair, absently, and starts running it between her fingers.

“You were the last one left in the simulation,” Dinah says cautiously.

“Yes,” Cassie says, her voice throat clenching, “I was. It was just me left alive.”

"I’m so sorry, Cassie,” Dinah says, “I can’t even imagine what that must have been like.”

“No, you can’t,” Cassie says, which is probably too blunt, "I watched all the rest of them die." Dinah refuses to break her eye contact.

“How do you feel about that?” she asks softly.

 _“How do I feel about it?”_ Cassie demands, her anger building, “I feel like shit! I watched them all die and I couldn’t do _anything_ about it. Honestly, what good is surviving if you do it alone?" She feels like all hope is lost, even though she knows that none of it was real. Cassie knows that she’s back on the Watchtower. She’s just talking with Black Canary, but she feels like she’s making her last stand again.

“Cassie,” she asks cautiously, “did you _want_ to die, back in the simulation?” Dinah’s asking her if she was suicidal, like Kid Flash. She’s not sure if she knows the answer to that.

“I didn’t understand why Kid Flash just gave up after Blue died,” she says, “but after Tim disappeared from my arms, I think I kind of do. Not completely. I- I knew I was going to die, I just- I went down fighting instead of waiting for it.” 

“I’m sorry that we put you through this,” Dinah says.

“It wasn’t your fault,” Cassie says. She doesn’t understand why Black Canary would blame herself. This was a Team mission, and the people that organized it and all of them that agreed can share the blame.

“I agreed to it,” she says. She heard the stories about the first time the same as the rest of them, she was just certain that it couldn’t happen again.

Dinah doesn’t say anything, and Cassie hasn’t stopped running her fingers through her hair. Her sisters on Themyscira told her not to play with her hair because it would make it balloon up, but she’s never been able to stop it. It’s a never habit that she could never kick, and she hasn’t stopped since she came into the room.

“Agreeing to a simulation wasn’t agreeing to watch all your friends die,” Dinah says.

“No,” Cassie says, “I guess not.” But she can’t really blame anyone else for this either. She’s angry, but it’s not productive to direct it at the League or her teammates. It wouldn’t even be wise to direct it at the gods. It’s just something that happened, and they’re all going to have to deal with it.

There’s an awkward lull in the conversation, and Cassie doesn’t think that Dinah is going to pick it back up.

“Can I go now?” she asks cautiously. Dinah nods her head, and Cassie heads for the door.

 

 

 

Tim hears the door slam, and looks up to see Cassie coming out of the room. He gets up, and sends her a forced smile.

“You alright?” he asks.

“Yeah,” she says. He knows that it’s a lie, but he’s glad to hear it. The fact that she’s keeping a brave face means that she can at least fake being fine. That’s a good sign. Pretending to be fine is a bat family value.

“Robin,” Dinah says, “since you’re already up, how about you go next?” Tim nods. He can’t find a good reason to refuse. He and Kid Flash are the only ones that haven’t gone yet anyways. He follows her into the room. She sits down in the big blue chair, and Tim plops down awkwardly into the red one.

“What do you want to talk about, Tim?” she asks.

“None of it,” he suggests halfheartedly. Dinah sends him a glare that’s just as halfhearted. Tim sighs, and gives in.

“We thought that everyone was dead,” Tim says.

“Yes, of course, that must have been awful,” Dinah says, and he can tell that she’s trying to comfort him, “you watched your teammates die.”

"No,” Tim says, shaking his head, “It wasn't just the Team, it was _everyone_. I-I thought that Batman and Nightwing were dead, and then Batgirl, and- and everyone else. Cassie was the only one left." He had been able to hold it together, at least a little, until he saw Babs die. After Babs died he just imploded.

"As a leader, I didn't keep a cool enough head. Hell, Blue was the only one who even _tried_ to calm anyone down." He feels guilty just thinking about it. If he’d listened to Blue  Beetle for just a _second,_ maybe they could have figured out that it wasn’t real. It could have saved them all a lot of heartbreak.

“I went off on him,” Robin says, “it was ridiculous, it’s just, he was saying that none of it was real. That Nightwing and Batman weren’t actually dead, you know. But they were, at least, I _thought_ that they were.” He bites his lip.

“I wanted him to be right but I just couldn’t believe him,” he says, “if I let myself believe that and then he was _wrong?_ I couldn’t take that, so I just, I kind of zoomed in on why he had to be wrong.”

“You mean the thing with the Reach,” Dinah says.

“Yeah,” Tim says. He looks away, awkwardly. He stares at the print of water lilies on the wall. He thinks that the original is famous. Is it Monet maybe? Or was it O’Keefe that did water lilies?

“That wasn’t Blue Beetle’s fault,” Dinah says evenly.

“I know that,” he says, “it’s just hard to remember.” He has been trying though. He just remembers Blue Beetle attacking the Team, and he doesn’t think that he’ll ever be able to forget. It doesn’t matter how much he tells himself it wasn’t Blue’s fault, he still finds himself wary of him.

“I can barely look at the guy,” Tim says, “I don’t know how Bart does it.” How _does_ Bart do it? The guy’s from an apocalypse that Blue caused. How does he even look at him, let alone hang off the guy? Dinah nods her head slightly. Tim doesn’t know if she agrees with him or not, but it makes him feel a little better.

“I should have, I should have taken over for Batgirl after she died,” he says, “but I shut down. I couldn’t think of anything to keep Cassie and I alive.” He completely fell apart under the pressure, and that’s not something that a leader can do. They’re supposed to stay calm and stoic no matter how shitty things get

“Nightwing would have thought of a plan,” Tim says. Even he’s surprised by how bitter it comes out.

“You’re not Nightwing, Tim” she says, “you shouldn’t compare yourself to him.”

“I just- I feel like Robin should have done better,” he says. Every time he fails, he feels like he let Dick down, and Barbara, and Bruce. He never even met Jason, but he feels like he’s letting him down too.

“You aren’t just Robin,” she says, “you’re Tim. You don’t have to be Dick, or even Jason.”

“I don’t want to _be_ them,” Tim says, and it’s mainly true, “I just don’t want to let them down.” He doesn’t feel like he deserves to be Robin right now.

“You should talk to them,” Dinah says.

“I just talked to you,” Tim says, “I get a “get out of talking about my feelings free” card for a month.” Dinah cracks a smile at that.

“Tim,” she says, “I think this goes deeper than just the simulation. You should talk to the rest of the bats about how you feel.” To be honest, Tim has felt this way for a while. Maybe watching everyone die and then dying helplessly in his girlfriend’s arms just popped a big old pimple of problems that had been building up over time. If so, he doesn’t really want to think about what will happen if he doesn’t deal with the puss.

“Alright,” he says, “I’ll think about it.”

Dinah smiles softly at him and says, “That’s all I can ask.”

“Can I go?” he asks. She nods, and Tim throws himself out of the chair. He nearly runs out of the room,

“Let’s go watch a movie or something,” Tim says, “I want to not think for a while.”

“Yeah,” she says, “that sounds good to me.”

 

“Catch that little plant,” Jaime says. The pokemon's a cute little blue bulb with leaves coming out the top. 

“Dude,” Bart says, “this is a _battle._ I can’t catch someone else’s pokemon. Have you never played or something?”

“No?” Jaime says, phrasing it as a question.

“Blue,” Bart says, “you grew up in an era with pokemon, and you _never_ played it? I’m disappointed in you.”

“I was more into Digimon,” Jaime says. Bart gasps dramatically.

“We can’t be friends anymore,” he says, just as dramatically. Jaime rolls his eyes.

“Kid Flash,” Dinah says, “it’s your turn.”  
  
“I think I’ll pass,” Bart says.

“You _can_ do that,” Dinah says, “you’ll just never go on another mission again.” Bart groans.

“Come on,” he says, “you can’t do this.”

“It was a League decision,” Dinah says, “Aqualad suggested it, and the League voted for it unanimously.”

“It’s not that bad, ese,” Jaime assures him. Bart looks from Jaime to Dinah, and the he looks at all the empty chairs. All the other kids have left because they already did this.

“Fine,” Bart says. He stands up, and drags his feet as he walks into the room. He doesn’t even use his superspeed. He lies down over the arm of the chair closest to the door, and hits his head against the other one. He has to readjust in order to lie down comfortably. Dinah looks unimpressed.

“Is this a speedster thing?” she asks.

“Is what a speedster thing?” Bart asks, looking up at the metallic ceiling.

“Pretending everything’s fine after a disaster,” she says.

“No offense,” Bart says, “but that’s kind of my life story.”

“Bart,” Dinah says. He turns his head so that he can see her, and it looks like she’s sideways because of the way that he’s sitting. It kind of makes his head hurt to look at her that way. He doesn’t want to shift positions, though, so he’ll deal with the angle.

“You need to talk about this,” she says.

“I am talking,” he says. She sighs, and then brings her hand up to her chin. She’s obviously thinking. Bart isn’t sure that he likes that. She drops her hand, and takes a breath.

"You were most worked up about Blue Beetle's death," Dinah points out.

"I was?"  Bart asks, a hint of nervous laughter in his voice, "I guess I didn't notice."

"Bart," she warns him. He can tell she's going to keep pressing until he talks about it.

"Yes, fine," Bart says, "I was crushed when I thought Blue had died, okay? How could I not be? He’s my _friend_. My friend who died, aren’t you supposed to be messed up about that?”

“You didn’t have that same visceral reaction when Garfield died,” Dinah points out gently.

“Are you implying something?” Bart asks, voice low. He doesn’t even know what she might be implying, but he doesn’t like it. He even pushes himself up into a proper sitting position.

“I’m not saying that you don’t care about Garfield,” Dinah says gently, “but I think you have feelings for Blue Beetle you haven’t dealt with properly.”

“He’s my best bud,” Bart says, and that sounds flat even to his own ears. Jaime’s his friend, sure, but he’s more than that too. What he feels for Jaime isn't anything like what he feels for Robin or Artemis or Beast Boy. 

"I just- I thought, maybe if we both lived, we'd be okay," he says. Maybe she’ll leave it at that. He feels like he’s been sufficiently psychoanalyzed.

"You wanted to run away with him," Dinah observes

"Yeah," Bart says, "that's how we handled things back in my day. When I was little, we'd run so fast the bugs couldn't catch us." Now he wants to run away with a bug, ironic how things turn out. Now that he has started talking, he's pretty sure he can't stop. Private details from his past soar out of his mouth.

"But then they got my dad," he says, "and they got my mom, and they got me too. The only place I could run was the past, and it’s just, I saved it. I made this world so much better and I found people that I cared about and I thought, I thought that was all gone.”

“Bart,” she says gently.

"My family was already dead," he says, "and then without Jaime it just seemed like nothing mattered. Without him, what was the point?"

“Is that why you let the drones get you?” she asks.

“Well, yeah,” he says, “I guess.”

“I need you to be honest with me, Bart,” Dinah says gently, “do you want to kill yourself?” He laughs at that, awkwardly, and she sends him a dark look.

“Look,” he says, “I’m not suicidal or anything. I know that sounded bad, but I’m _not._ I just had a fucked up childhood, you know. I’m good now.”

“You wanted to die in the simulation,” she says.

“Well, yeah,” he says, “because I lost all the people I love. Would you wanna live that way?” She looks away.

“I don’t know,” she admits. They're both silent for what might be a minute or might only be a few seconds. Because of his superspeed, Bart has never been good at gauging how much time has passed. 

“Can I go?” he asks, inclining his head towards the door. Dinah sighs.

“Yes,” she says, “go ahead.”  
  
“Crash,” Bart says, and he bolts out the door to the chair beside Jaime.

“You’re done already?” he asks.

“Yeah,” he says, “be psyched my dude. We’re free men!”  He gestures broadly to the zeta platform.

“Where do you want to go?” Bart asks.

“My house?” Jaime says, like it's obvious. 

“Bo _ring_ ,” Bart says, “come on, we can go anywhere on earth. Where do you want to go?”

“We’re not going there,” Jaime hisses to his scarab, and Bart doesn’t even want to _guess_ what he suggested. Jaime looks like he's thinking about it, so Bart doesn't start blurting out suggestions. 

“The Grand Canyon?” Jaime suggests.

“Sounds good to me,” Bart says. He’s never been before, and everyone always talks about how cool it is. Bart hooks his arm into Jaime’s, and the other boy shakes his head, laughing, as he pushes him off. 

  
He knows that eventually, he’ll have to deal with all his complicated feelings and his traumatic past and everything that comes with it, but right now, he’s going to the Grand Canyon with Jaime, who isn’t dead and won’t be anytime soon. He has time to deal with everything else later, so he lets himself enjoy the moment. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyone still has a lot of shit to deal with but they're working through it. that's all we can hope for

**Author's Note:**

> never fear everyone, i won't leave it here. the therapy part is coming. i've just got to finish it.


End file.
